Barbarella, say it ain’t so! Women Embracing the Gray

Joy here –   I was aghast when I saw Jane Fonda present best picture of the year at the 2020 Academy Awards.  Sexy, bombshell, toned, Fonda, who had inspired millions to exercise to her 1982 Jane Fonda’s Workout, walked out and showed herself to millions of viewers with gray hair!!!

I think this trend of going gray might have started with Helen Mirren (elegance personified), culminating with Sharon Osborne, who had dyed her hair flaming red every week for 18 years!  What gives?  Are women of a certain age feeling more confident in their aging hair and skin?

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Not only did the fabulous Jane Fonda go gray, but she vowed that she was done with surgery to make her look younger.  At 82, she is remarkable by anyone’s standards.  I give her credit for speaking her mind and standing up for what she believes, still an activist in her 8th decade of life!

The guy who is responsible for both Jane and Sharon’s tresses is a top colorist by the name of Jack Martin.  Lady Clairol this is not!  The shades they both chose are truly beautiful grays, not your dingy dish  water gray that creeps up on you and says “time to go to the beauty parlor!”

I admit that I am not ready to go this route.  When I’m 80, (G-D willing) I might go gracefully into the white space. It will highlight my blue eyes, which will be cataract free by then!

 

Barclay here – I’m with Joy!

In fact, I never want to catch sight of what lies beneath!    When I sense its wire-like, springy presence, it is time to call Colette, my miracle working colorist and stylist who has become a good friend, given all the time we spend together!!

The truth is not many of us can afford the likes of Jane’s and Sharon’s colorist, who has deftly overseen their transition to the gray side.  OUR transition would likely be raccoon like, and reveal texture about as smooth as steel wool.

But I DO applaud Jane Fonda for boldly embracing the gray (smooth and perfect as it is) and encouraging us all to age with grace and gratitude.

Personally, I am grateful for her example, but I am equally grateful for Colette, whom I should probably call now.

 

Today’s Takeaway…

-You can spot them on the Red Carpet and on the streets of Naples, Florida, where I am presently.  The big lips, the pained smile, the too-arched eyebrows.  I have heard it said that, “The gods we worship write their names on our faces.”  May our faces radiate contentment and gratitude with normal sized lips and the inner beauty that comes with generosity of spirit.

-That said, let’s give thanks for make-up and hair products!

 

Enjoy the ride!

xox Barclay and Joy

 

Body Image

I’ve admitted that I am a sucker for those As-Seen-on-TV products. When I hear, “If you order now…” – my credit card is out.

Some recent purchases include —

A twirly hair product for creating easy, beachy waves. (Not so easy.)

A brush that straightens your hair. (Now in a bathroom drawer.)

A facial hair removal wand. (Actually I LOVE this product.  Who knew that our post-menopausal faces would decide it’s high time we sport facial hair?)

A wand for eyebrow hair removal.  (Now in a bathroom drawer. My eyebrows apparently decided to donate their extra hair to my chin.)

I have tried products that exfoliate, moisturize, tighten, plump, and contour.

Naturally, I watch TV in a Snuggie.Screen Shot 2018-08-22 at 4.56.00 PM.png   Doesn’t everyone?

At least I am savvy about enterprises who auto-charge and auto-deliver until you have enough product to open your own storefront.  And I read the fine print.  You do NOT want to have to dial an 800 number and spend hours on hold just to extract yourself from a commitment you never committed to.

I am still at it though.  I recently succumbed to this concealer which promises model-like perfection for arms, legs, torso. Will it grant runway-status legs or make it look like I’m being prepped for a casket?

Perhaps you’ve seen their infomercials.  I can’t be the only one who finds them irresistible. Right??

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Body image is tricky business.

My mother once wrote an article entitled The Last Whistle.  She described walking along Lexington Ave when she heard a construction worker-type whistle directed her way.  She was well into her 50s and she felt flattered that she had drawn male attention. Her article went on to bemoan the aging process. It was her last whistle she said.

I hated that article.

What is beauty anyway?  My friend, Rita, age 96, lying prone on a nursing home bed, is looking more like an angel each time I see her.  Her teeth won’t stay in place, but her smile is the prettiest I’ve seen.

That said, let’s raise a glass with Jane Fonda and vow not to go gently into that dark night.

We will stay moving, keep reading, enjoy friendships, and wear Maybelline concealer – not seen on TV.

And rock a Snuggi when no one is around.

No one, and I mean no one, looks good in a Snuggi!

Today’s Takeaway –

-Make up and skin care indeed can give us additional confidence, but an equivalent amount of attention needs to be given to caring for the soul. That which lasts.

-Let’s aspire to be like this random internet woman.  We may not master her pose, but maybe we can touch our toes – remembering that it’s not the toe touching that counts, but what takes place on the way down. At least that’s what my 25 year old yoga teacher said.

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Enjoy the ride!

xox  Barclay and Joy

The Problem with Mirrors

I can still hear the clack of my mother’s heels on the hardwood floor outside my room.  “Barclay, I need you to come to the bathroom mirror.”

She clacks back to her room. I trudge behind her, a mature adult reverted to age 12.  The bathroom lighting will be unforgiving and her mirror more so.  Soon we’re facing that mirror, my mother, all 5’ 11” of her, behind me, staring.   “Which side of the bed do you sleep on, dear?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer.

“It appears you sleep on your right side.  Do you see this wrinkle over here?   When we compare it to the left side, it’s more pronounced.”

She pauses to let this observation, apparently evident to all, sink in.

I cringe thinking about how I rest my face in one hand while sleeping, thereby scrunching this poor right side into its present state.

“You really should be sleeping on your back, as I do.  Have you tried that?”

How to respond?  She will proceed to my forehead if I don’t take the offensive.  It’s a forbidden topic, but under bathroom lights, all’s fair.

“I wish there was something I could do.”  Pause.  “Mom, did you ever have plastic surgery?”

At the time, my mother was a smooth faced octogenarian with model cheekbones, arched eyebrows, and a sculpted nose.  

“I once had a few spots removed …and while I was there, well, they may have done some treatments.”

I had secured an admission. Victory?  Hardly.  Short of undergoing “treatments” of my own, this overly ambitious wrinkle would only deepen along with its forehead counterparts.

The really sad part is that upon returning home I did try sleeping on my back.  Unfortunately, this caused a nasal situation and a thunderous noise, jarring me awake at 2AM, certain an intruder was pounding at the door.

Of course I blamed Codie, our golden retriever, for this unladylike noise.   My husband only chuckled – a bit meanly I thought.

I hated my mother at that moment.

 

So I am not a fan of mirrors.  

Have you noticed they love surprising you with something NEW that you could swear wasn’t there the night before?   A line, a blotch, a vein.  (Let’s pause in  honor  of whoever invented concealer – which I will soon be applying with a putty knife.)

My advice is to avoid mirrors unless you just spread lipstick on your teeth. 

And beware of “treatments” that have the power to seduce your wallet and your retirement joy. 

Eventually my mother’s smile looked downright scary.

 

Today’s Takeaway –

  • There’s a saying, The gods we worship write their names on our faces.  Having a positive outlook, even smiling more, goes a long way in promoting attractiveness.
  • Find compassionate mirrors (it’s all about the lighting); but know that the state of your heart takes precedence.  Along with gobs of concealer!

 

P.S. I hate to admit it….but my mother was right.  Sleeping on your side DOES cause wrinkles.  And sleeping on your back IS better.  But there is hope for us snorers.  According to this 2012 article in the Huffington Post — we should purchase a “beauty sleep pillow” or a satin pillowcase.  Just be sure your dog is nearby to take the blame for any emissions during this side-to-back process!

 

Enjoy the ride!

xox, Barclay and Joy