The Getaway from The Getaway

My cousin Wendy commented on FB that she “liked” that my husband and I were getting away from our getaway.  After all, we are retired here in Mexico for the winter months.  Why would we need to get away?  From what?  Everyday life in the Northeast?  Winter temperatures, snow, wind, bitter cold?  I hadn’t really thought about it when I made vacation plans to go to the beach, but I was indeed taking a vacation, the same way people who work do.

Vacations are really different when you don’t work.  The contrast isn’t there anymore to appreciate the difference between work and play, pure relaxation.  Nevertheless, I have always been a big believer in vacation and retirement isn’t going to change that.

We have just come back from a lovely beach week  on the Costalegre, about 4 1/2 hours from where we live here in Mexico. For me the beach speaks to my inner being, it takes me to a place of pure serenity and calm.  Something, I’m not too familiar with, having been an anxious Type “A” personality all of my life.

I love boutique hotels, my husband hates them.  I love Air B&B’s.  My husband hates them.  I love unadulterated, simple, not a flashy resort person, but he is 5 stars or 4 if all the 5 stars are booked!  We couldn’t be more different in our preference for a getaway.  He, being a very good sport, acquiesced and I picked a small hotel directly on the beach halfway between Puerto Vallarta and La Manzanilla.  We all know the wife usually gets her way!

5 days of sun and surf, ocean waves pounding against the shore, walks along the beach, delicious fresh food, and an air of romance that just can’t exist in your everyday life.  That’s why vacations are important, no matter if you are retired or working  They’re different for sure, but they still serve a purpose.  We need to reward ourselves for the hard work we put in all those many working years and kick back.  For me the beach is the answer and I will try to incorporate a week there every winter.  My getaway from my getaway!

Today’s Takeaway…

Vacations are important.  Don’t deprive yourself.  Life becomes routine no matter where you are because it involves routine things.  Paying bills, preparing meals, organizing social events, obsessing, worrying, contemplating!

. The beach is wonderful or the mountains or the desert.  Whatever gives you the respite from everyday life, embrace it, enjoy it and take the time to breathe.

Enjoy the ride

x0x Barclay and Joy




Keep Moving!

Peggy was ahead of her time.  Back in the day when women weren’t supposed to sweat, she was dripping wet every morning.  “Barclay,” she’d say. “You must get out of breath once a day.”  Her Bible was the Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise Plans for Physical Fitness.  Naturally she did her sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks in heels.    

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Peggy kept her slim figure intact until the very end.  Even when restricted to her bed, she arranged for a physical trainer to bring over weights and beach balls.   I suspect she was wearing heels under the covers.

“You just have to keep moving!” she’d declare. 

Now the downside to all this is that I grew up to be an exercise fiend.  I completed 15 marathons, played tennis 4-5 times a week, biked, took hot yoga — and sweated my way right into an eating disorder that can still rear its ugly head.  

But Mom was right.  Exercise is key to warding off depression, staying fit, producing endorphins, rebooting energy levels, combating disease. And if it’s a social thing, all the better.  Whereas my mom was relegated to the bedroom (the only acceptable form of exercise for a 1950s female was vacuuming), my world expanded through exercise.    

I met my husband and secured 2 jobs on a tennis court; my ladies doubles group has sprouted a wine group; and  during my brief and unspectacular hockey career, I encountered fascinating women from different backgrounds and orientations. 

So let’s follow Peggy’s advice and keep moving!  Just not in heels!


Today’s Takeaway –


  • Discover a new sport.  Consider Pickleball — it’s easy to learn and cheap.   It’s the fastest growing racket sport and has Baby Boomer written all over it.


  • After exercise, stick around for an adult beverage.  Your workout can lead to friendships you didn’t anticipate with people you wouldn’t otherwise encounter.



Enjoy the ride!

xox, Barclay and Joy






Of Leisure and Lobsters

The dictionary’s synonyms for retirement sound bleak — pullout, retreat, withdrawal.  Related words are even worse — recoil, rout, disengage.  And how about these uplifting phrases – seclude oneself, sever connections. Antonyms to retirement connote positivity —  advancement, increase, join, begin.

This retirement season may be trickier to navigate than we thought.

Of course Joy and I (Barclay) counted the years.  It’s the American Dream.  Only 8 more years.  5 more.  Only 2!!  We can do this.  Then BAM…it happened.  2017.

And we left our posts with fanfare.  Joy had a reception with applause, cake, and a speech.  I had no less than 5 celebrations — one on a boat!  Much toasting and clinking. 

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Then the limelight left and reality settled in.  

Our nests are empty.  Our kids don’t return our texts.  Facebook boasts photos of babies with 2 month plaques; soccer kids holding trophies; engagement photos that look like they came from a frame in Target’s home decor aisle.  Our FB pictures consist of us and a glass of wine.

Our mom-hood days are over.  We’ve never been less needed. Our to-do list gets done. By noon.  And annoyingly, no one bats an eyelash when we say we’ve retired.  “No, that just couldn’t be; you’re too young!”

But let it be said, we are the lucky ones.  We GET to retire. 

Yes, we scrimped and saved. But things worked out.  We were not downsized (at least that often).  Our 401ks survived the recession; Social Security and Medicare are not yet on life support.

So we’re grateful — AND we’re going to take issue with Merriam Webster.

May we never sever.  

May we refuse to seclude. 

Instead, we will advance and engage!  In what, who the hell knows —  and there lies the tricky part.

My dad,  a retired Pan Am pilot, said you have to earn your weekend.  In other words, leisure is only fully enjoyed when preceded by labor.  Someone else observed that lobster starts tasting like soap when you’ve overindulging.

So join Joy and me, your Baby Boomer retirement partners, as we embark on a mission to discover new passions, create new opportunities, and hopefully along the way, earn our leisure and our lobster.


Today’s Takeaway –

  • Take a Gratitude Walk.  Check out birds, colors, trees.  Count 10 blessings.  Silence any whining or worry that tries to creep into your brain.
  • And if you can’t think of anything you’re thankful for, be grateful you’re breathing!


Enjoy the ride!

xox, Barclay and Joy